Asperger's Syndrome: Offering Families Practical Help and Faith-Drive Hope

Michele Howe of New Growth Press speaks with CCEF author Dr. Michael Emlet on the subject of Asperger's Syndrome. Counselors and interested adults will discover much about this disorder and how it relates to a believer's responsibility, before God and in community with others.

Can you define Asperger's Syndrome and compare and contrast it to autism?

Asperger's Syndrome (AS) or Asperger's Disorder is placed in the same family as autism, in what the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) terms as a "pervasive developmental disorder." While AS is grouped within the same family as autism, there is some debate about the ways AS is similar to and different from autism. There are no diagnostic tests (like blood tests or MRIs) to clinically diagnose this disorder, so counselors rely on structured interviews with the child, his parents, and his teachers to assess whether or not an individual has AS. There are questionnaires that help in that assessment, as well.

What indicators identify someone with this syndrome?

Asperger's Syndrome is a neuro-developmental disorder. Austrian pediatrician Hans Asperger, who studied children with this disorder in 1944 and whose work was translated into English in 1991, describes a "constellation of symptoms" for those with AS. In 1994, the American Psychiatric Association included AS in the DSM and cited two common elements experienced by AS children. First is the area of social difficulties. Persons with AS have trouble interpreting and cuing in on the verbal and nonverbal communication of others. These children do not pick up on the subtle, nonverbal signals involved in communication, so they have trouble decoding the feelings and responses of people around them. Even though they themselves "have good expressive language ability…they struggle to use these abilities appropriately in conversation." Second, AS children commonly display restricted or repetitive behaviors or interests. They will focus in on a singular topic, either by collecting it or by amassing an encyclopedia-like knowledge of the specific area. This specific focal point may alter as they age (and, on a positive note, it can become a career specialty). Within these criteria, researchers connect AS to a baseline deficit in what is known as "theory of mind" (ToM), which is "the innate capacity to understand that other people can have desires, ideas, and feelings different from our own." There are often other struggles associated with AS. AS kids must overcome clumsiness in their motor skills. They have difficulty following multi-step directions and filtering out background noise and other competing stimuli

As a counselor, have you found one treatment plan to be effective for most children with this problem?

Every person is unique, so each person must be approached differently. However, there are patterns or a common rubric that counselors can use for every individual. Each one of us stands before God with an active heart, so every person with AS stands before God in the same way a neuro-typical ("normal") person does. However, we must realize that those with AS also have a body that affects their behaviors. Counselors must be aware of the brain-based differences the AS person has. This understanding helps me to be wary of calling something sinful when it may not be for the AS sufferer. Still, the AS child needs gospel-centered, biblical counseling in the same way neuro-typical persons do.

Do you or should you hold AS children to the same set of expectations you have for non-AS children, especially in response to bad behaviors? What are the differences between average children and the child with Asperger's in regard to internal restraints?

Let me answer that question with a question. Would we have the same expectation for a four-year-old as we would for a seven-year-old? No, our expectation will vary according to each child's maturity. Typically, a child with AS is about three years behind his chronological peers in social and emotional maturity. AS children tend to struggle more with restraint and this knowledge is going to affect my approach as a counselor. I want to recognize that "can't" is very different from "won't" when it comes to an AS child's behavior. I don't want to assume that a child "won't" when AS brings the behavior much closer to "can't." It's not that we don't seek change in an AS child. We continue to offer a gospel oriented "can-do" approach. But there are times when we must realize that, very possibly, the AS child simply can't do better right now.

How might the spiritual responsibility of someone with Asperger's be different from that of someone who does not have this disorder?

Our baseline is that every person is an image bearer of God. We are all responders and therefore responsible before God to worship, honor, and obey him and to love others. The first and second commandments apply to all of us. However, there is another way to view this question. Think of the command to practice hospitality. How does this work out in an extrovert's life versus an introvert's life? Hospitality will look very different in these two cases, yet both can be living in obedience to God, given the "gifts" they have been given by the Father. Another example is in the parable of the talents in Matthew 25. Jesus tells us to be faithful until he returns, yet the "level' of obedience expected for a five-talent person is different from that for the one given two talents. As we consider this metaphor for those with AS, we see that the admonition to be faithful will yield different responses of obedience in someone with AS compared to the neuro-typical person.

What about an AS child's perception of parental instructions? What do parents need to do differently to have their child hear and carry out directions?

Parents need to learn to say less. They need to mean exactly what they say, being aware that their child hears literal words and phrases and cannot discern unspoken or assumed requests or directives. It also helps parents to realize how hard it is for their AS child to suddenly change gears. AS children struggle with inflexibility; it takes longer for them to process incoming data. This is compounded by their difficulty in filtering out background noises that others (without AS) would have no problem ignoring. For the AS child, a small, incidental noise can sound like a jackhammer. It makes it hard to focus on the parental instruction. Given this fact, the timing and location of any conversation are just as important as the content and tone of the words themselves.

What are some effective ways to communicate with the Asperger's child?

In addition to what has already been said, parents should carefully consider what they say and how they say it. Communication should be clear and concrete. Parents should avoid using figures of speech. When speaking to the AS child, be ready to pause frequently to allow the child time for processing and for feedback. Parents need not be afraid of the silences; their child needs this extra time to consider what has been said. Parents should also be careful with their facial expressions, remembering that the AS child has trouble interpreting non-verbal cues. The child may wrongly feel that the parent is scowling and angry with them when the parent is simply concentrating. AS children misread facial expressions and often can't compute them. They "hear" a harsh, loud, angry tone of voice when perhaps the parent is simply speaking firmly or with conviction. Also, the neuro-typical person places a premium on eye contact. This, too, is hard for AS children. They might look away because it is painful for them to maintain extended eye contact. This is where parents can teach social skills to their AS children, teaching them that people want to be looked at when speaking or when being spoken to. Parents can also prepare their child to receive physical gestures like hugs. This is something AS children may find hard to do if not prepared for them.

How do you instruct family members to deal with and understand annoying behaviors or strange responses?

A basic truth to remember is that what we might consider socially odd is not necessarily malicious or sinful - it is just different. Parents need to educate family members on what is typical behavior for people with this struggle. Explaining these differences won't erase the annoying features, but it will raise the compassion level in the rest of the family. For example, siblings can be prepared for the bluntly honest comments that will often come from their AS sibling. This education helps immensely. I recommend reading AS resources as a family so that everyone is fully aware of how life will be with their AS family member. Parents also need to remind their other children that God has made us all different. Every one of us has our own unique strengths and weaknesses. We are all the same in our struggle to overcome personal weaknesses, so we cannot view the AS child's weaknesses as moral deficiencies necessarily. We must recognize that the AS person sees the world differently than we do and that's okay.

Is there any way to support an AS child's social immaturity to ease the transition into adulthood?

There is a much greater awareness of AS today than there was in the past. While today's AS kids still fall outside the bell curve, this new awareness means that more diagnoses are made earlier on, which means that children are getting help earlier on. The earlier AS is recognized, the earlier social skills training can begin. Parents with older AS children might offer social skills training at home. They can suggest possible social scenarios their teens will face and help them work through them. After high school, the AS child might live at home for the first year, which would allow him to move more slowly into his new college environment. Living with a mature, caring roommate who can serve as a mentor is another good option.

Interestingly, the master/apprentice program (rather than a classroom full of students) has been shown to work well for those with AS. This individualized training might be preferable for them. As more information about AS becomes available, more adults are recognizing themselves. This brings them great hope, because they can now work harder and more specifically on their areas of struggle since they now have a fuller understanding of the AS condition.

What resources do you recommend to counselors and family members?

• The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood


• Comic Strip Conversations by Carol Gray


• The OASIS Guide to Asperger Syndrome by Patricia Bashe, Barbara Kirby, Simon Baron-Cohen and Tony Attwood


• The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon


• Asperger Syndrome by Michael Emlet

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