Do you lament that moments of beauty, joy, and laughter in your life are so fleeting? It’s like one of those Instagram videos of a toddler eagerly smiling and accepting a slice of lime (“Ooh, a new food!”), which gives way to a puckered and confused expression (“Wait, what?!”). Moments of joy are too easily swallowed up by intrusions small and large. These joy interrupters could be the next hard thing on our rapidly expanding to-do list on a given day, or the shocking news of a loved one’s cancer diagnosis. Whether minute or monumental, the challenges and griefs of life in this fallen world can quickly overshadow our perception of the good that God brings into our lives.
What can we do about this? I’ve been considering lately how to amplify singular moments of joy or beauty that God gives me. I want them to be longer-lasting, more durable experiences of thanksgiving that coexist with ongoing hardship, sorrow, or struggle with sin. The answer is not to cover our eyes and put our heads in the sand regarding the difficult aspects of life. Sometimes these intrusions of suffering or sin are just too massive and tragic to ignore. What I want is to s-t-r-e-t-c-h joy out a bit. I want it to linger longer in my life. How might we expand these moments so that they make a deeper, more lasting impression on our hearts?
One starting point is to accept that grief and joy coexist in this life. Like it or not, they are both guests in our house at the same time. They are not sequential but simultaneous experiences. Too often when life is difficult, I think, “If I can just get around the corner of this difficulty, this sadness, this struggle with sin, then I can experience joy.” But the apostle Paul described his experience as “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Cor 6:10). God’s design is that I notice and appreciate his goodness and care amid inevitable trials. Paul puts it this way: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess 5:16–18).
Like me, you probably find this is easier said than done! I’m heartened by the fact that Jesus walked this road ahead of me. His entire life was hardship and joy intertwined. Perhaps this is seen most clearly on the eve of his crucifixion when Jesus spoke at length with his disciples and said these remarkable words: “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11). Our deepest joys and our greatest thanksgivings are tied to his redemptive work on our behalf. We abide in him (John 15:4–5). But his mercies are not only related to salvation. He takes care of his children now by granting a multiplicity of tangible kindnesses each day. So how can we grow in gratitude and notice these things? Let me suggest ten ways we can stretch a momentary joy into a more durable posture of gratitude.
- Open your eyes and slow down. If “this is the day that the Lord has made” (Ps 118:24), ask God to make you more mindful of his work and his ways throughout your day. Ask him for eyes to notice fresh mercies. Ask him to help you grow in gratefulness for his care.
- Remember that you are not alone. Jesus, by his Spirit, is present with you every step of your day, whether it feels like green pastures or the valley of the shadow of death (Ps 23:1–4).
- When you find your heart moved by joy (a beautiful sunrise, your child’s first word, a funny thing your dog did, the kindness of a neighbor), see it as God’s kindness to you at that moment. Thank him right then as the Giver of this good gift. Ask him to help you cultivate childlike wonder so that you don’t miss even his tiniest blessings.
- Contemplate the spiritual blessings you have by virtue of your union with Christ. Start each day asking God to help you experience the reality that you live under his benediction, that because you are his child, he’s smiling, not frowning.
- Prioritize thanksgiving in prayer. It’s easy to jump quickly to intercession and supplication. But remember the old hymn’s encouragement: “Count your many blessings, name them one by one; count your many blessings, see what God has done.” Speak not only what you want him to do for you, but also what he has done for you.
- Spend a few minutes at the end of a day recalling the places where you felt met by God. This is especially important if you tend toward the melancholic side of the temperament spectrum or if there are current and deep sorrows in your life. Ask, “Where have I seen God’s goodness to me this day?”
- Keep a gratitude journal. Put into writing these gifts of God’s kindness, small and large.
- Tell someone else about your experience of joy. A blessing shared is a blessing amplified. Testifying to God’s goodness in specific ways pushes back against doubt that may arise amid concurrent hardships in your life.
- Lean against a scarcity mindset and a view of God’s character as stingy. He is a generous Father (Luke 12:32; Rom 8:32). Too often I feel like I’m holding my breath, just waiting for the next shoe to drop. Gratitude helps me to exhale. It nips grumbling and cynicism in the bud.
- Frame hard things with an admission of God’s sovereign and loving care over your life. In essence, lamenting well actually opens the door to gratitude. This is not a syrupy, Hallmark-card counterfeit gladness, but a hard-won conviction that my tried-and-true Savior is working redemptively in my life and in the world.
Ultimately, these practices must be blessed by God and suffused by his Spirit. Stretching joy and embracing gratitude are not self-help projects. We are dependent on the Spirit’s work, softening our hearts and giving us eyes to behold the splendor of his providential work in our lives. Stretching moments of joy is an act of faith, in which we see Jesus in our mind’s eye seated on his throne, accomplishing his good purposes in our lives—amid beauty and brokenness alike (Heb 2:9).
Before us stands the promise of Jesus’s words—“You have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you” (John 16:22). At that point, when we see him face-to-face, our joy and gratitude will stretch on to eternity.
