My father didn’t love me. What do I do with my sense of shame?

It's as if your life is, is on this unstable platform, which means that it doesn't just affect one moment in your day. It's part of the way you live. In this unstable platform, you're always a little bit off balance, always questioning yourself. And are you as bad as you think? Are you as incapable as you might think? These are some things that coexist with what you're raising. Two things, one is, I am guessing that you have been changing.

Change of course, as you know, it is this gradual process. And to put it one way, it's your father had all the gravitational pull in your life. But what you have been seeing is the gravitational pull of your God as father and your God who also being your maker happens to be your husband. The gravitational pull of your God is, you know him better and better than the person of Christ is having more and more influence.

It sounds as if that is happening. And we pray that more of those things would happen. Another small matter I'm a father and my daughters are grown now, but I suspect one characteristic of our lives together would be something like this. They would come home from school. I would see their assignments. I would see what they did well at. And I would say, "Lindsey, this is amazing. Do you see this kind of artwork? Let me show you what I would do. If I was asked to do that, it would be a stick figure. And you're drawing this three dimensional figure in two dimensions. How do you do that?" To say to my other daughter, "Do you see what you just did? Here, you have this grand project and you were able to break it down into small steps and decide how much time was you needed to invest in each step. Do you realize how gifted you are to be able to do that?"

I suspect those things happen most days in my relationship with my children. I hope that you have someone in your life or people in your life who can say here are the places where I have seen your strengths, your God given strengths. And I have experienced them myself. So you can't argue with me. Here are many of the things that you are good at. Thank you so much for the question.